Notes to Myself

Why men marry some women and not others

2006-07-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, i also realised that whenever i borrow books, there seemed to be an underlying theme between the books so apparently, the theme of last week's readings was about the great sexual divide.

and i've decided to summarise a couple of interesting books (cross my fingers i can be persistant) so i dont forget what i read (don't wanna waste my time)

So book of last week was: WHy men marry some women and not others.

Basically, there was really one chapter that stood out and it was the chapter on "Women (that) Men Marry"

1. women with a large # of female friends are more likely to marry that women with a larger # of male friends. why? cos females friends are more likely to go out of their way to introduce single men to friends than males friends are.

2. the secret of having s successful career and a marriage is TIME MANAGEMENT (sounds duh ish, i know, but it's a classic case of easier said than done)

3. WOmen with unrealistic expectations often remain single ( true.. that being said, it doesn't mean that fellow sisters out there should just settle for any no-gooder bummer. Marrying the wrong man is infinitely worse than not marrying)

4. the larger the # of single men and women with whom you work, the greater your chances of marrying. true true true!!!!!!!

5. being slender attracts more men, therefore increasing your chances of marrying. (ok, i know i shdn't write this, with all the weight loss mania around, but it was a statistical figure. karen carpenter skinny is scary, but be healthy slender. that's good for your general health. wat;s the point of meeting the man of your dreams if you might drop dead the next cos of a clogged artery?)

6. women who have active social lives are more likelt to marry than those who don't. (duh statement again but very true.)

7. women who put in real effort into seeking out the company of single men are nore likely to marry than those who do not. (power of intention!)

8. women who go out on a second date or even a third one with men they are not crazy about at first often end up happily married to them. (i can personally attest to that)

that being said, the question remains if you think you are better off being married. honestly, there are just some people who are better off and happier not married. Dwell on it!

Hibernation observations

2006-07-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

i hibernated at home over last weekend.

Depressed and feeling too lazy to get my arse outta the door.

Two observations i made because of this mini hibernation.

1. Depressed is a verb. Feeling is an emotion. I realised that whatever i feel, other than the effects from environment, is up to ME.

So, I am feeling depressed cos i wanted to feel depressed. The weirdest thing was, with that acknowledgement, i also realised i had the power to choose to not be depressed. I immediately felt better. (note that i didn't become hysterically happy or whatnot, but i'm working on it)

What helps?

1. Be rationale abt the situation
2. Talk it out with someone
3. Coming to terms with it and move on.

2. i have a lazy arse. and i find excuses not to go out. It's too hot. Summer........ I'll wait till it's cooler. or i can sleep instead..
Please. I need societal pressure to hit the gym. COme, motivate me!

How to have a great time on a holiday (On retrospect)

2006-07-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

Ever been on a dreamt about holiday with a loser who made the whole experience unplatable? The one that put u off on the idea of having another holiday?

I just did and it was one of the worst holiday experience i ever had. But as all things are, there are always valuable lessons to learn.

How to have a great time on a holiday

Pre holiday Preparation:
1. One of the most important things about a holiday, if you are not going alone, is to make sure that you actually like your companions. It will be sheer torture if you have to spend more than 24 hrs in the constant companionship of a spoiler. Why pay to be tortured? (unless you are sadist)

2.Limit your travelling companions to 4 people. 4 like minded people who love to do things together and like the same stuff. I cant emphasize how important it is. Too many people, too many different wants. Too difficult!

3. Plan your itinerary and make sure to get input from your companions. It's very much their holidays as it is yours. Also, this is to avoid being blamed if they didn't like the itinerary.

On the holiday:
1. Be flexible. Yes, you have a itinerary, but an enjoyable holiday is almost always marked by spontaneity. Have fun and let go.^^

2. If you are on a holiday with people you are not very close, and decide to share accomodations and food, be sure to keep all receipts and make sure you keep the finances straight. It sucks if people start feeling that they have been taken advantage financially. Especially if you guys are not close.

3.Try. Have fun. Eat. Listen. Experience. Take loads of pictures. Better still, pray tt you have a good photographer in ur travel group cos they always have interesting perspectives and open your mind to things you wouldn't notice.

4. If you are renting a car, always rent from a reputable renting company. Paying a little more for security (not just the insurance, which you should definitely get) can save a lot of agony if an accident happen.

The aftermath

1. Try and sort out whatever shared finances within the first 3 days of the holiday and be open with the finances. You have reciepts to back up.

2. Share your photos and have a good laugh and sharing session over the wonderful memories you have all created.

These are things i wished i have done. Which i shall practice in future.^^

Occupational hazards- One of the ways i might die

2006-07-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

my office is below a gambling den. I repeat. Below a gambling den.

everyday, i hear feet rumbling, scuttering, hopping all over my celling (being the very thin plastic/woodish celling that it is)

every now and then, i wonder if a person would ever fall through my celling cos of the excessive foot movement above.

i wouldn't be surprised if you check out the orbituary and see "Dead due to falling celling"

Touch wood

I am a nerd

2006-07-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

i'm intrigued that people have that astonished look when they find out that i read an average of 8 books every other week.

Other than the fact that i do have more time than others to do my own stuff, reading is a personal hobby. Sounds nerdy, i know. And completely out of character, or so to the people who think they know me.

i'm a nerd. how do i know that? cos i grin when i walk into a good library, and i cant stop grinning when i walk home with arms full of books.

I AM A DORK.

So, what do i read usually?

Non fiction mostly. I find reading fiction zaps my creativity. I wonder if there's a scientific reason behind it. hmm..

well, i usually read abt 2 books on pop psychology ( the studious psych major that i am..haha!), 2 motivational books, 1 on science (usually physics- i especially like stuff on time warps and all, theory of relativity..oh yes, bring it on) then, depending on my mood, i get some language books to pick up a new language or to revise the ones i learnt and usually something serious about the world or a good biography. I dig biographies. Of interesting people of course. And i like the idea of learning from people who have been there and done that. Most of the time to save me from the agony of wrong decisions.

So what have i been devouring lately ?

The gift of Genius (ok book..too general, i thought)

Why men marry some women and not others by JohnT Molloy (good easy read)

Why men never remember and women never forget by marianne j legato( interesting, but too much of the nature assumption over there..which i have my reservations on)

Mentored by a millionaire (any other book that teaches u the basics of how to achieve what you want. i.e set goals, outline steps and do it. quite disappointing i muz admit)

The blank slate by steven pinker (still on it, interesting thing was that while it was a required text for my psych class, i never bothered to read it, but now it isn't, it makes for quite an interesting bedtime read..irony of required texts..)

Leverage your best, ditch the rest by scott blanchard ( interesting coaching book.. still on it^^)

update (7/27): just borrowed a couple of books from the library nearby~ cant wait to share!

Proactive does not equal to pushy-ness

2006-07-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

Today, I learnt that

Pro-active people aren't pushy. They are simply smart people who know where their values lies and are realistic.

You don't have to be pushy to be pro-active.

Really.

'Pushy' turns people off. Pro active- the act of doing the things (as opposed to procrastination) does not include the behavioral patterns of imposing insistence on others.

One can be happily proactive and likeable. PLus, the act of pushy-ness adds only additional load and stress onto self when it is absolutely unneccesary.

The correlation between thinking too much and death

2006-06-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

A friend and I were on the topic of thinking too much when he suddenly blurted that that is the reason why philosophers die so early- cos they think too much.

Then it got me thinking.. abt the correlation betw dying and thinking too much. I think my friend was partly right. I think the main reason why philosophers die so early (or so i think) is that they spend too much time thinking, (and in their case, all of their time) that they don't have any time left for doing. Then they die, really, of the regrets of not doing anything. Have u ever had the feeling of regret and remember how uncomfortable you were. Now multiply it by a gazillon (cos philosophers tend to have too many regrets, courtesy of thinking too much) and that level of uncomfort will be enough to kill anyone..

I mean, what's the point of thinking so much when u end up not doing anything abt it?

moral of story?

think adequately and then just do it!

Try try try! it's only when a concept is tested that u'll know if it actually works in reality. If it works, woo hoo, less thinking! If not, it just means ur idea needs refinement^^

Inspire

2006-05-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

Inspire.

What does the word 'inspire" mean to u? Here are two definitions i found online.

1. to breathe or blow into or upon; to infuse (as life) by breathing

2. to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on

Interesting how a word can have 2 different meanings. We all can inspire the first way. Why not the second one?

Let's infuse life with an enlivening influence.

Let's INSPIRE.

Correlations of walking and weight loss

2006-05-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Did you know?
"Brisk walking for 45 minutes a day, four times a week will result in a fat loss of 18lb over a year - provided there are no changes to diet," says Dr James Rippe, cardiologist and internationally recognised researcher

Lessons in Distance

2006-05-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

Never trust someone who drives, if you are a walker, to estimate how long the journey from one point to another.

I've been told by another colleague that to get to this particular place, all i have to do is to walk till the end of the street. It's not very far, he insisited. Not far, my foot! if 10 miles on foot to get to a place is not far, i don't know what is~~ lol